Hello, Squares
When I perform on Zoom for Please Don’t Touch the Artist, I have a way of doing things. First, is an anxiety-ridden rehearsal with Chevy, my Joker, and Mellie, my sound designer and board op, where I am stressed about, you know, everything, including how I am trying to work beyond my boundaries but within my budget. This is actually impossible, but Chevy and Mellie are patient with me as I knock back some whiskey shots before we let all the folks in after pressing record.
When the squares populate on our collective screens, there is no pretense of hiding the performer before said show. We’re all there, and I’m there, singing hello with my parasol as I individually recognize each person in the room. This can sometimes take upwards of 15 minutes.
If I had done so at Please Do Vibe, it would have gone something like this:
PARKER FREAKIN SELA.
What a dynamite, powerhouse of a woman in our midst. What a magnificent beacon of humanity who somehow has the energy and the wherewithal to make me feel like things aren’t falling the heck apart. Parker, I used to only think of that guy Andrew when it comes to Tulips. Now, I think of you. I think of you with the Red Queen. I think of you with peanuts and how we never want you to die of peanuts, which is a wildly horrible death. I’m so grateful for your help, your smile, and your VIBE. What a vibe. I love you. Thank you.
DUNCAN STONEFRUIT SIR.
I know. I know it was crazy hella stressful for you to come to the Vibe. I know you were anxious and being around people created more anxious and etc etc so forth but I want you to KNOW just how much our space was made BETTER because you were there. Dancing with you, laughing with you, improv-ing with you, was wonderful. I am so proud of you for being brave and truly hope in your heart that it was worth the journey — it made a difference for all of us, I know, that you were there.
JONATHAN ROCHKIND
The caps locks are for yelling like I do on zoom, I hope this is translating, not to look like I’m yelling, like, at you guys, you know?
Anyway okay Jonathan, I love you so much. You are such a joy. I love talking to you, and honestly I feel like everyone should hire you to populate a party vibe because you bring the coolest fuckers in existence into our lives: that shows good judgement, sir, and it means a lot to me. Also, genuinely, SiobhAlice joked about this, but one of the joys of the vibe was that you brought out your ACCORDION (!!!) and I’d never seen it in all of these years on zoom. Love you so much and can’t wait for the next thing.
MALLORY VANCE
You are my hero. Your energy is calming, your organization is life-giving, and the creative work you do is wonderful. THANK YOU for bringing us We Are Not Vampires. Thank you, so much, for sharing your light all weekend long and for what your friendship brings all of us. Thank you containing multitudes and then helping me run the talent show when I was basically unalive. I’m so grateful and I so very much look forward to more.
ALEX BACTAT
You’re a vibe. Truly. THANK YOU for workin twice out on the mainstage for events that…never happened on the mainstage, lololol, and thank you for hauling ass to be amazing and make this event amazing. The margarita popsicles were also a vibe and your grande entrance to the dance party was highly appreciated. Thank you for loving our girl and for supporting her as she does all of the important things she cares about, all at once. Please cook for her and make sure she drinks water. Thank you. Love you.
ALLIE MAROTTA
Allie. You did so much to make this happen. Thank you for starting this all up by first of all interpreting spreadsheets for me. Managing peoples’ information got so overwhelming and you made it POSSIBLE. Your warmth and tenderness make a big difference to all of us, and your craft activation SLAPPED. I wish we could have done more of it. Thank you for sharing yourself with me, and truly — thank you for insisting I take the small dome to sleep in even tho I would have slept in a tent. You helped me take care of myself when I wouldn’t have. Love you lots.
JAMES Bunny MARTIN
Thank you for believing in me and seeing the value in what I do. Thank you for extending your heart to others because you believe in what I do. I love you. And also: this community loves you.
JARJ
Captain to Number One: I love you. Thank you. Your friendship and comaraderie mean the world to me. I can’t thank my lucky stars enough that Towson brought you into my life, and the feeling that we’ll be together always is so comforting when my insides feel in turmoil. You’ve been a consummate audience member, improviser, actor, director, and Joker for PDT. And now, you’re everyone’s IRL friend and lover, too — and that brings me so much joy.
CLARA BELLA
We didn’t get to have you this year and that was so very devastating. I’m so so sorry that you couldn’t be with us, and whatever you went through — please know that we were thinking of you and missing you. You are so valued and appreciated by this community, and I only wish we could have given back to you and all of the love you give us by hugging you last weekend. Next time. Next time.
CHEVY
What would we do without you? It’s a question I still think about and consider and ask myself to this day regarding this community. You had BIG shoes to fill in Dennissa, and you do it so beautifully. It filled my heart so so very much to have the opportunity to watch you guide our friends and lovers in your practice, and then to experience your poetry amongst the group, and your energy—the GIFT of you and your presence of compassion and love — I couldn’t ask for a better namesake or a bigger hearted love. You are my heart.
PRESTON DAVIS
You beautiful love. You heart and soul. You generous, gentle, beautiful spirit. To this DAY I thank my lucky stars that we have you in our world and our presence. You align yourself with your character day in and day out, you put your body and mind where your values are — I see it in you, I see so much in you, and I am grateful, honored and privileged you walk this earth with me. I love you.
ADAM BROOKS
My dear, dear friend. My thoughtful, sensitive yes man. Thank you so so much for showing up so hard to PDV. Thank you for cooking for 45 people for the first time in your life, for maintaining your cool while we all shouted GO ADAM from the rave, and thank you for your incredible DND skills and for whipping our cleanup and organization into serious shape on our Sunday load out day. I love you and am so very grateful for you, Commander Troi.
ARIEL LOPEZ
It’s not fair to say that you were my favorite hug. But I think it’s okay to admit and accept that your hug in particular was the one I would think about and look forward to leading right up to the Vibe when I would get stressed. Knowing that you would be there with us brought me peace — as your presence always has. I have so many very good memories of our time together these brief few days — but most notably when you peered from your book on the hammock and said, “You know, Siobhán, I AM an introvert.” Lord. I love you. And THANK YOU for your beautiful photos.
CALEB HUNT
Did you know that you were saved in my phone as Caleb Star, bc I didn’t actually know your last name, and thought of you as the star of PDT anyway? Thank you for sharing your starshine with us. Thank you for coming to PDV even though you had a bunch of shit to do. I know we basically got to hang out 0% but I ALSO know that other people got to enjoy the pleasure of your wonderful company — you are a true celebrity amongst us, and we adore you.
MEGAN MARKHAM
You’re not crying, I’M CRYING!! Actually you’re crying AND I’M CRYING. Actually, there is so much crying and it’s so exhausting and cathartic and will you be in my life forever please, because your energy is essential to my life force??? THANK YOU for running Camp & Courage. THANK YOU for taking hold of the talent show. Thank you for being in my life and my heart. I love you so so much and can’t wait for more things.
JOSH FEINTUCH
Hoooooo boy we did it. We did it?!?! Holy cats. I can’t thank you enough for believing in me, for putting your spirit and heart and soul behind the things that I do. We’ve had so many years of friendship, of evolution, of growth and of hardship — thank you for all of the millions of things you did to make Please Do Vibe happen.I could not have done this at all, AT ALL!! Without you.
Krista Verrastro
Dear Krista. Thank you so much for baring the rustic-ness of our world in order to give so much heart and love to Please Do Vibe. I am SUCH a fan of your drama therapy sessions. You do wonders with your work, and your work truly resonated with all of your participants. Thank you for your positive energy, your thoughtfulness, your charm, your friendship, and your regularly compassionate perspective that provides so much to our community. You are so very beloved.
Dad
You slayed the sleepover Dad Vibe. THANK YOU for bringing the PA and supporting so many of our musician folks. I’ll never forget the first night where you got all of our music set up as well as bringing fries in to a bunch of nerds playing DnD. It was wonderful to see my friends getting to experience your music — everything you did and contributed to this counted. I can’t thank you enough. Love you, Dad.
Mom
I know the vibe is not necessarily your vibe. I know rustic and outdoors is not your thing. I know cooking in a downpour wasn’t exactly, um, fun. But I’m SO glad and grateful that you came to this thing, so that all of the people who have gotten to know you could finally meet you. Your energy was just incredible, and your food and your CARE that went into your food was also actually pure love. I am so beyond lucky to have you as my Mom, and, as it were, the Vibe Mom. Love you so so so much.
Sweet Sweet Roby.
My LA Ride or Die. You are such a champion of humanity. I cannot possibly express what your friendship has meant to me in this past year, and what your personhood and PLACE in PDT has meant to me. Thank you for showing up and being full of love. Thank you for being my advocate and my friend. Thank you for all of the ways that you put yourself out there and try new things. You are brave, and thoughtful, and I am a better person because you are in my life. Sorry I was dead on your last new york night — but dang. I really was.
Mellie Way
I JUST WANT TO PUT CRYING EMOJIS AND SOUND EFFECTS but that doesn’ t WORK in this long form very word oriented format I am using!! I ADORE YOU. I was so. SO grateful that you wanted to come to the Vibe. Thank you so much beyond ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING for giving yourself to this event. I can’t wait to hear about London and also omg I need to schedule more shows with you now even tho it seemed like it was over, it actually was not. ahhahahahah. um. Love you. My heart.
Kacey Statmats
Hello, Camera Off. I LOVE YOU. I was so excited to meet the person I was 90% sure I had never seen the face of. Do you know how fascinating it is to know you are coming to actually have everyone see your face for three whole days when you are such a cameras off zoomer?? Kacey, your smile is everything. You never have to turn your camera on, but I’m SO so grateful that you joined our gang with your goodness and positivity and BRIGHT. FREAKIN. SPIRIT. Love you. Thank you, truly.
Andy Daugherty
WHELP I don’t want to cry, but. Damn. We did the thing. The joke we have been making for THREE YEARS became a staple of a Vibe. Your vibe. Your way of running a session and being fully present for people without judgement, without response, and by the way — with hilarious of turn of phrase?! Obsessed. Damn. You. Love you and am so LUCKY that you are in my corner. Poetry collection of 2008 (or whatever the fuck that was) forever. And ever.
Brandy.
You wouldn’t let me get into it on the campsite bc I would cry and you would cry but now I’m just sitting alone crying, is that what you wanted?!??! Whelp. I think everyone should know very clearly that the way you just actively stepped up knowing that I would desperately need your help, and without judgement or like — why is this girl so incapable of anything —- in your mind — you made this event happen in a way I really definitely could not have on my own. You have done so much for me that I don’t even know how to properly celebrate you, or even feel like I deserve you — but I love you and I am so grateful and so very much looking forward to doing more. With you. Starting with the next vibe.
Emily Cordes
My darling, sweet friend. My MEGA force of talent and compassion. I loved being in drama therapy with you and sharing all of the things and I know we could have been in there ALL DAY throwing out as much as humanly possible into the orbit. People LOVED your workshop as well, I’m still hearing wonderful things about it, and I’m so, SO grateful that you are a part of my life and world. I continue to be so very lucky to have you.
OMG SAM EDDINGTON.
From a Prospect Park DJ to King Arthur himself, you have actually been so damn extraordinary all of the fucking time. I’m so, so grateful to you for sharing yourself so very much with this group of people — for sharing space with us so emphatically, and then JOINING US because…the woman in the bathtub is now in the woods. And you were like, great, let’s go. And I love you for it and hanging out at 6:30am was pretty dang cool, so…see you same place same time next year??
Dennissa Young
Nope. No. Stop. Stop it. STOP THAT RIGHT NOW because whatever you are doing is too good, too perfect, too magical. You are so magical and you are nothing short of an absolute GIFT. Do you understand what your presence does to a space?! Do you KNOW all of the ways in which we benefit from sharing a space with you?? You. Did. SO MUCH, so much more than you probably should have to make PDT happen. You tirelessly gave so much of yourself and I will never be able to express in words how grateful I am or how much you mean to me for doing all of this. Thank you, thank you thank you for your incredibly generous heart. This community exists because of you, and is so grateful to have you. I love you.
Jacob Watson
I’m still giving you a square here even though we really missed you there. Jacob, you’re wonderful. You are such a community builder and giver in your own right, and our experience was less without you. I learn something every time we talk, and I’m so constantly humbled that you’re willing and desirous to spend so much quality internet time with me. I hate that you couldn’t come, but I’m hoping to actually be in Chicago a bit this year and next — so there will be real hugs for us someday soon.
Nick Effing Fortugno.
I am CHUFFED AND CHALANT (the opposite of nonchalant, just fyi) that you came to the Vibe. THANK YOU for being cool cucumbers every damn day with such a wild experiment. THANK YOU for the privilege of your incredible contributions — you inspire me and model behavior/concept/ideas that all of us grow from. I am bummed that I couldn’t playtest your experience with you, but thank you truly for rolling with our chaotic first wild night and still bringing people memorable, positive experiences that I heard all about the next morning. I am a huge fan of all that is you.
Lynne Barbee
I can’t believe that I am truly THIS DAMN LUCKY to have a fairy godmother. And for that fairy godmother to be you. I watched Mallory’s video about how you made the Vibe and you really, really did. Thank you so much — beyond words, thank you — for sponsoring and providing so much support to this event. Thank you for navigating the many physical obstacles that you had to deal with just to be here. Thank you so much for believing in me enough to do this — I am so so lucky and grateful to have you — and this community is lucky and grateful to have you. I love you, Lynne, thank you so much.
Ira Gamerman
IRA. Ira!!! You embodied the vibe. You are an entire human vessel of and for good, you have done and continue to do so much for the world — and seeing you chillin’ with your mandolin, absolutely rock out with your mandolin (!!) and then yoga-ambient-groove with said mandolin BEFORE you read your script that everyone was obsessed with at the talent show…well. Yeah. I’m just so so so proud to know you. And I love you. And I’m grateful that you wanted to be with us this year. Thank you.
Amanda Simmons
Serving the A in MAM, meeting you finally and being with you in person — and creating memories with you, from DND, to FULL PLANKING/serving the blitzkreig properly, to “would you like aesthetic photos of your flowers?” honestly — you are so very good. Trophy wife. I’m telling you. Your gentle nature and lover of big feeling people and full on presence of heart and mind was always felt to me. I can’t wait for more things and more hugs. Thank you for seeing me and knowing me — so happy to have finally hugged you.
Edgardo “Captain” Parada
My actual Captain aboard my own ship. Your energy was EVERYTHING at this retreat. Thank you so, so much for being here. Our journey has been a very long and winding one, and your love and support and actually very positive guidance has meant so much to me for ALL OF THESE YEARS, and while we didn’t get to have much 1:1 real bonding time, seeing you sharing yourself with others and being so physically present with all of us — I just appreciate and love you so much. Thank you, truly.
Natalya, The Only One I’ve Ever Known
Hot DANG you are so good and special. I am so so lucky that Jonathan twice now brought us together, and twice now the entire community got to benefit from the privilege and pleasure of your company. I have too many memories of magical moments of you to actually bring any attention to any one thing — the one I’ll recount is when you were at the fire, and you were like, “Is Hidecki still spinning? I’m gonna finish this joint right here and throw down really hard with him in a minute.” and I was like, well, I think he’s winding down, so you should hurry? And you said “hey, you know, it will be what it will be.” But by the time I swung back around — there you were. Throwing down really hard, just as you said you would. And you were a pleasure to dance with and I can’t wait to do it again.
Heather Frew
“What was I gonna do, NOT come??” You said, when you expressed the woes of actually setting up a tent to actually sleep in to actually join the vibe. You overcame some big fears an senses of discomfort before you even showed up, and we are ALL better for it. You showed kindness in having a tent ROOMMATE!! You showed generosity in being a resident healer on our campus. You showed care in offering me the shelter of your umbrella — and I’m so so grateful and privileged and absolutely thrilled that you did all of those things. We benefit from your presence — what a loving, nurturing, wonderful gift you give.
Zander “Zandicorn” Ayeroff
More of a “yes” person in my LIFE I have never ever seen. I absolutely adore you, Zander — the fullness with which you are present, the completely down-to-clown whatever the ask is energy, the BAD BITCHES Immersive Theatre Co. forever, and just how inclusive, open, and joyful you are and always have been. It was a PLEASURE NPC-LARP-ing with you (we…teach peacocks, is it? To golf???) and I am hashtagblessed that you happened to be eastside so that you could join us for our revelry. See you in LA!!
David Schafran
“David Bathtub.” There was a moment where I was running all around the “dining hall” and I didn’t really have time to engage or take notice or say anything, but I saw you and my Dad having a forreal Noam Chomsky in depth conversation, and it warmed my heart. The night before I watched you sing along to his music, and it melted me, I mean, a little. And prior to that I saw you reclining in a hammock, prior to that I saw you engaging in conversation with someone you’d only just met, and prior to THAT, I saw Dennissa tag you in an instagram story playing some music while waiting for a train, and the whole time, honestly through all of it — I love watching you in the world. You are so very special.
Lauren Arenson
WOW okay crying hahahaha um??? You have been with me in my adult life in NYC from the START! I was just a little baby when we met, and when you believed in me hardcore for all that I was doing even then. I’m so so glad that it worked out for you to be with us this year. I know I already said this to you — but you bring so much. Your bright sense of things, your positive nature, your helpfulness, and your laugh that allows others to experience joy and share in that laughter, too — wow. Hot damn. I am so grateful. Thank you for those vegan cookies…they got gobbled up. And I LOVE my Elphaba nailpolish, and I love you.
Ally Ibach
Come. The fuck. On. YOU ARE A GIANT. You crashed into this community like everyone’s favorite tidal wave, and suddenly, here we all are, super psyched and pumped to be sharing this (horrible) world with you. THANK YOU for being curious and committed. Thank you for living fully in the world. Thank you for sharing so much heart and so much love with a whole SLEW of new people and doing it fearlessly and with joy. I am so impressed with you. I am so happy that we are now friends.
Jon Pedigo
My gas station bar friend. Do you have ANY idea how many people would turn to me after you’d walk by and be like, “um, he’s amazing.” “He’s super special.” “I love him.” and this is EXACTLY and accurately and truly how I feel about you. Every single moment I shared with you during this Vibe was something tender, like it was far away from this fucked up planet we love on. That’s what you do with your very spirit: you transport us. Every encounter I’ve had, from LA to New York, has been a pleasure, and I am so, so looking forward to more with you. I will never forget our sad hour time. It cemented my love for you always.
Hideki Watanabe
My most special treat of the retreat. You put the treat in retreat???? I was looking everywhere for you, has anyone seen the man I’ve never met?? And when Natalya assured me that wherever you were, that you are indeed a functioning adult and that you are honestly probably fine — neither of us knew that you were already set up to spin. Being with you was so damn satisfying. I knew you were a marvel from the internet. I just freaking knew it. I knew you were stylish and sweet and talented and so so so very good at hugging. I DIDN’T know just how fantastic of a DJ you were, I DIDN’T know that you were a brilliant and charming improviser, and there was no way I would know that you’d have an LED umbrella. My darling one. Thank you, thank you thank you for being with me, with us.
Adi Eshman
Hey, I’m a huge fan of yours. You are so singularly special. I am SO proud of your momentum. I love watching you work and watching you grow, watching you perform and teach and academia-ize and experiment. But my favorite moment regarding you was not even one where I was with you — it was my Dad telling me of your conversation with him about The Misfits, and I want to reiterate that I cried — your commitment to goodness and justice in the world moves me. I am so glad that it is for this very reason that we’ve crossed paths. I love you so much, my friend. Thank you, from my heart, for vibing with us.
Hallie Perlman
You absolute wild thing. It is so, so very wonderful to meet you. We orbited each other through a very wild weekend and every time I caught a glimpse of you, you were deep in conversation and laughter and joy with humans. (I mean, except for that one time you were sleeping. I mean okay, there was also the other time you were sleeping). It might come across as cliche to cite your performance at the talent show as my biggest takeaway from this — but to me, truly, your piece embodied what I think we have all set out here in this world to do — to create art that is affectionate, welcoming, warm and seeking joy in our otherwise bitter universe. I will remember it always. Thank your Mom for me 💖
Okay so perhaps this isn’t EXACTLY how I would have greeted all of these beautiful squares, it’s kind of more than 15 minutes worth of talking, but, you know. A long introductory and exit monologue is quite possibly A Vibe.
